Friday, May 12, 2017

The Americans With No Abilities Act (ANAA)


The Senate is considering a sweeping legislative Bill
sponsored by the Democratic Party that will provide
new benefits for many more Americans. The
Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a
major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of
Americans who lack any real skills and ambition.

“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess
the competence and drive necessary to carve out a
meaningful role for themselves in society," said
California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer
stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be
ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation,
employers will no longer be able to grant special
favors to a small group of workers, simply because
they have some idea of what they are doing."
In a Capitol Hill press conference Nancy Pelosi
pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service,
which has a long-standing policy of providing
opportunity without regard to performance. At the
state government level, the Department of Motor
Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring
Persons with No Ability (63%).
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than
25 million mid-level positions will be created, with
important-sounding titles but little real responsibility,
thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and
performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and
promotions will be given to guarantee upward
mobility for even the most unremarkable employees.
The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to
corporations that promote a significant number of
Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management
positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium sized
businesses that agree to hire one clueless
worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains
tough new measures to make it more difficult to
discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for
example, discriminatory hiring interview questions
such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that
relate to this job?"

"As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep
up with people who have something going for them,"
said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lugnut
twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to
her inability to remember "righty tighty, lefty
loosey". "This new law should be real good for
people like me. I'll finally have job security." With
the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other
untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end
of the tunnel.

Said Sen. Dick Durbin (Illinois): "As a senator with
no abilities, I believe the same privileges that
elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to
every American with no abilities. It is our duty as
lawmakers to provide each and every American
citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with
some sort of space to take up in this great nation
and a good salary for doing so.”

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is so stupid! Surely it is not true. I know politicians get elected w/o an education just because of the city / state they come from. But I sure do not want an idiot doing things for me.